When the Pulpit Turns Toxic: What I’ve Learned as a Trauma Therapist Working with the Wounded Church
I’ve spent years walking with men and women who carry deep wounds—some visible, many not. But perhaps the most devastating wounds I’ve witnessed are those inflicted in the name of God. I recently joined Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson on Laura-Lynn Live to talk about the epidemic of spiritual abuse, sexual addiction, and coercive control in the church—and why we must stop turning a blind eye.
🔹 I See the Aftermath of Church Abuse Every Day
As the founder of The Journey and The Process Counseling, my team and I specialize in healing complex trauma—spiritual abuse, sexual betrayal, coercive control. I’m a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, EMDR Consultant, and trauma specialist. But I’m also a Christian who loves the Church. And I’m heartbroken by what I see.
🔹 Power Without Accountability Is Dangerous
Many pastors don’t realize the power differential they carry. Seminary rarely teaches them that their position makes any personal entanglement with a congregant inherently coercive. That ignorance is destroying lives—and churches.
🔹 Addiction Is Not an Excuse for Abuse
Sex addiction is real. It can lead to secrecy and destruction—but not every addict is an abuser. Abuse begins when someone dehumanizes, manipulates, and controls others. That’s not addiction—it’s evil.
🔹 Yes, There’s an Epidemic—and It’s Not Just in Megachurches
Whether it’s Mike Bickle, Ravi Zacharias, or a small-town church leader—the story is the same: power, secrecy, no accountability, and silenced survivors. Social media has simply made the exposure more public.
🔹 Narcissism Isn’t the Whole Story
We throw the word “narcissist” around too easily. What I often see is coercive control—a sinister desire for power-over, wrapped in charisma and religious language. Jesus used power with and power under. These leaders do not. Learn more about why I don’t like the term “narcissistic abuse” here.
🔹 What Real Repentance Actually Looks Like
Repentance isn’t press releases and rebranding. It’s sorrow, accountability, and consequences. I’ve seen leaders cling to their pulpits rather than fall to their knees. That’s not biblical restoration—it’s image management.
🔹 Purity Culture Didn’t Protect Us
While I believe purity culture began with good intent, sadly it was and is used to harm. Purity culture objectified women and vilified men. It told women they were gatekeepers and men that they were helpless against lust. In Body & Soul, Healed & Whole, I help women disentangle faith from the harm they endured and reclaim healthy sexuality.
🔹 The “Pornified Mind” Has Entered the Church
Pornography reshapes the brain—and the soul. Its influence is everywhere, including in Christian marriages and pulpits. We must name this for what it is: abusive, addictive, and deeply dehumanizing.
🔹 Your Story Deserves to Be Heard
Trauma thrives in silence. Healing begins when we are witnessed in our pain. As Maya Angelou said: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” I want to be the kind of person who helps others feel seen, heard, and valued.
🔹 There Is Hope—But It Starts with Truth
Whether you’re a survivor, a leader hiding in shame, or a betrayed congregant—healing is possible. But it won’t come through secrecy. It comes through humility, repentance, and community.
Ready to Begin Healing?
My team and I offer confidential, trauma-informed care for those healing from abuse, addiction, and spiritual harm.
🌐 Visit TheJourneyandTheProcess.com
📘 Read the book: Body & Soul, Healed & Whole – An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control.
You are not alone. Your story matters. And there is a path forward.
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